Yesterday, we were with my daughter and her two young children. As I watched my husband, who is no blood relation to these young children (he's my second husband) interact with the kids, I felt this deep pang. I was 40 when I married him, and my kids were teens. We were not flush with cash, to put it mildly. We went back and forth as to whether we should have a child together. I love children, and he would have loved to have had a child, but we were fearful of whether we could afford to have a baby. I worked long, horrible hours at the job I had at the time. Plus, being 40 meant more risk for me and for the baby. We simply could not decide, and as time went by, the decision was made by default.

But I'll never stop feeling some regret. Our grandson in particular ADORES my husband. It is such a joy to watch them interact. My husband should have been a father. But looking at our financial situation, I honestly am not sure how we would have survived had we had that child. There are often no right answers, as you said. We called it. I often regret the call we made, but we might easily have regretted making the other call. We would have loved the child immeasurably, but we may have had trouble keeping the family fed. Ugh, these things are so hard.