We must come up with a polite, gender-neutral way to address people. Several times lately I’ve run into the situation where I can’t tell whether someone would prefer to be addressed as sir or ma’am, so I haven’t addressed them at all. In one case, it was a grocery store cashier. I wanted to ask the cashier if the lane that person was working in was opening, but didn’t because I was afraid of using the wrong form of address. In another case, the person had made very unusual grooming choices and used a non-traditional name. I suspected the person was trans but wasn’t sure. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or give offense so when in doubt I stay quiet. I’m pretty introverted anyway, so the thought of screwing it up fills me with anxiety.