My daughter’s (now ex) spouse transitioned while she was pregnant with their second child. I lived in fear of using the wrong name or pronoun. I had known this person as a man for years. It was difficult to use the right name and pronouns, because it’s ingrained— you normally don’t have to think. I got to the point that I felt intense anxiety. I began rearranging my speech patterns or staying quiet. And end when I was talking to or about a man, I felt a little internal hiccup (WAIT! Can we say “he” for this guy? Don’t fuck this up!) and was always ill at ease. It’s VERY hard to get used to this when you’d known the person as the other gender. Not much grace was given to anyone who misspoke. Like, none.