I wasn’t aware that my first marriage had any problems until the last minute. I don’t think I’ve changed other than in the ways we all change as we grow up and age. If you’d asked me in January 2002 how my marriage was, I’d have said it was good. Divorce was unthinkable to me at that point. I had zero idea anything was coming. He moved out in April and it was final in August. It was a rapid thing.
Now, in comparison I can say I have a far better husband and marriage today — but I did nothing to make that happen. I didn’t have some epiphany or anything. It’s just that this man is a better person.
I didn’t think my ex was a bad person when I was married to him — only once he decided to leave did I see a different side of him.
My point is that the success of one’s marriage may have little to do with you or your actions. There may have been literally nothing you could have done.