I think fed is the minimum, not best. If a mom chooses to use formula when she had the option to nurse, I am not going to say one word to her about it. Sometimes, a decision to use formula is based on reasons I don't know -- she has an abusive partner who wants her body to belong to him, or she has been scarred by sexual abuse (I've heard a horrifying large number of women say they couldn't stand the idea of a child touching their nipples because of what someone did to them), or she has to return to work with no maternity leave at all, or she has a secret medical condition she doesn't want to reveal that keeps her from nursing -- I don't ask. It is not my place. She doesn't have to justify her decision to me.