I am not sure if I've told this story on Medium before, but when my daughter was in high school, she performed in show choir. In one performance, four boys would lift her over their heads and she'd sing the last note of the song. I was, of course, thrilled to watch. We were in a big auditorium and I was so proud to see her big moment, when my husband, who is Dutch, turned me and said he didn't think she was wearing panties. I NEARLY DIED. Not wearing panties? Thousands of people had seen my daughter's bits? I hadn't seen a glimpse, but if my husband did ... OMG.

It turns out he thought the word "panties" meant "pantyhose." She actually was wearing panties, pantyhose and those little bikini-bottom-looking things that performers wear if they'll be exposed. She was totally covered -- her pantyhose were light and skin-toned so he thought she had bare LEGS. Just bare LEGS. Not bare anything else!

I am lucky I didn't have a heart attack.