Here's what I do, for what it's worth: I use no dye or heat on my silver hair. I wash it every 2-3 days. When it's wet, I work quite a bit of jojoba oil into the ends. My hair is long, so I start at about chin-level and oil everything in that range. I normally put no other product in my hair. I keep my hair long enough that I don't have the ends framing my face, because they do not fall neatly into place. I don't want the mess around my face, and the waves look fine when the ends are hanging down my back. This is what works for me. YMMV!