Here's the thing, though: As far as anyone at all could tell, the marriage wasn't miserable. We got along. We shared the same goals. We treated each other with respect (until the end). There was no indication that I was ever aware of that we had any serious problems, and he was never able to name any. It's not like he ever said, "I'm unhappy and need you to fix X." He left for, as far as I could ever tell, no reason at all. As I said, I still don't understand what his reasoning was, and I probably wasted a thousand hours of my life digging through the remnants of our marriage, trying to figure it out. I will never, ever know why he went from being apparently happy one day to apparently hating me the next. In every other divorce I know of, there was always some clear explanation -- a sudden discovery of bad behavior, a history of substance abuse, a general growing apart over the years, a dead bedroom -- SOMETHING.