Satire

Apparently, The Democrats Are Now Against Reading While Pooping

Thank you, President Trump, for your amazing contributions to toilet decor!

Look, I can’t tell you where I took this picture. It’s just too Top Secret. (Photo by Michelle Teheux)

I dunno why everybody hates Trump so much. He just made bathroom reading great again, yet nobody seems to appreciate it.

I’ve had nothing great to read lately.

I am tired of simply scrolling Medium on my phone each time I head to my personal file room/bathroom. Although Medium always claims it has a variety of stuff to read, you’ll note a distinct lack of my favorite reading material: Top Secret government files.

I really enjoy reading nuclear intelligence briefs and transcripts of secret conversations with foreign leaders while relaxing on the toilet. One of my favorites is reading about what the U.S. would do in response to foreign attacks.

Particularly if I’ve overindulged a bit the night before, a nice, leisurely read of secret government documents really gets things going.

Just try to find this stuff on Medium. If there’s a section with Top Secret government files, I have yet to find it.

Come on, Medium!